Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
