Your tits are I can't wait for
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
