the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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