Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
