haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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