Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
