with your own penis?
thus making me awesome and them whores
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
