I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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