Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
This baby is an asshole
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
