someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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