We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
