If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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