Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
either way he was missing a nipple.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
