I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
