Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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