After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
