somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
