omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
