please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he shaved USA in his pubs
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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