Don't you send me to vm
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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