I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
