Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
