Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
