I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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