On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
