I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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