She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
