yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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