This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
