I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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