Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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