legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
