I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
