If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The best revenge is premature balding
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
