she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
