Do you still have your period?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So vagazzling was a success
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
