"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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