I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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