margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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