I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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