we have officially mastered the walk of shame
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
