I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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