He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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