Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
