So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
