We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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