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So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
there was a trapeze. enough said
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
