why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
