He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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