Umm I'm too high to move.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
