Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
