Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
