Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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