And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
