your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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